TOPIC NUMBER ONE: The delicious Food I have been eating!
1. Mayonnaise and Potato Chips, DELICIOUSSSSSS
- I'm not really sure how this happened, but now I dunk EVERYTHING in mayo and if there is pesto near by, FUCK I'm having a party
2. The always delicious chicken strips (sans mayo)
3. Steak and scalloped potatoes w/ provolone and mozzarella cheeses (made by yours truly)
- I went from champagne and cigarettes to scalloping potatoes, I think I took a wrong turn somewhere........
4. Long Islands
TOPIC NUMBER TWO
For the remainder of my blog writing, I am starting a new segment and it's called
Jessica's Bruises
this week we have this gem
This occurred on the evening of a good friends birthday who I will not call out(rebecca demars). We thought that it would be a good idea to leave a window open instead of dragging our keys with us, this was a good idea until I try to stumbled through this fucking window WASTED at 1:30 in the morning. The other leg is worse, I looks like I skidded across the window ledge and hard as I possible could.
However, due to my cellulite's privacy, I cannot show you this picture
Then we have these little nuggets
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these bruises came from a co-worker (john maki) repeatedly punching me in the arm at the cabin.
I don't know why I didn't stop him.......oh yeah that is back fat you are looking at in this picture, that area of my body did not force me to sign a confidentially statement. I think Mr. Back Fat and Mr. Cellulite should talk.
TOPIC NUMBER THREE
I haven't done anything but laugh at work in the last two weeks...shout out to Sarah and Becky (who will never ever leave me, we will be friends forever and ever)
Speaking of Becky, now that we are both single we have really started to bond AND to do activities like:
1. create photo albums (it sounds cute, but if you saw it, you'd think we were retarded)
2. take diet pills
3. Watch movies that are slathered in sex scenes ( we see this as paying for sex through cinematic classics) On the back cover we look for these key words (AFFAIR, SEXUAL DESIRES,OLDER MAN & SWEATY)
4. buy 40 dollar shoes and then trample through the mud in them.
5. and MOST IMPORTANTLY.....we double fist at the bar.
the memories we have are unparalleled to any other and never should be talked about.period....
Recent Flaws:
1. I wet the bed a while back, about roughly a week after I pissed on myself (I think I'm regressing)
2. I snorted at work the other day, twice... I think the room was just dry
That is all.
