Hello again!
after a few positve/shocked responses I am back to share my experiences with you all.
Since my last post, the semester has ended, my aunt de-friended then re-friended me on facebook. I had a recital and continued to drink wine heavily.
The holidays were great, I got everything I asked for, including a cookbook, which may not seem like a big deal, but for someone who is microwave dependent, this is a major first step. On the 22nd of December, I literally burned/destroyed a microwave dinner. It was seriously uneatable, I smoldered the son of a bitch. Thus, resulting in microwaving another dinner, which with extra salt, turned about to be delicious.
Despite my french cuisine of "LA MICHELINA" I did have to succumb to the holidays and the terrible cooking of a said aunt who I will not mention.
The holidays for me are always a sore subject, because for 12 straight hours, I have to deal with the barbarians. The barbarians, are my mothers side of the family and they are something else.
My mother reads this blog, so I'll be gentle, but I'm really not a fan of this side of the family.
That is all for now.
I will be back.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Day One. You are all screwed.
So this is day one of my blog and I'm pretty sure in the course of my "blogging", I'll piss off about 80% of the people I come in contact with on a daily basis.
I'm already over it.
Anywho, for those of you who don't know me (not like there is anyone reading this), I'm am Jessica I am 21 and I have a lot to say.
Apparently it's not a good idea on a social level to call out people you don't like and/or completely annoy the piss out of you, so I'll do it here. Don't get me wrong, there will be several topics, but annoying people will probably be the funniest. I do have friends who are great and love me for who I am (shout out to Ross, Mandy, Garrett, Becky, Rachel, Madeline, etc. etc.) But there are just too many dumb people out there, and most of them reside in the state of Michigan with a fixed concentration in Mount Pleasant.
The Citizens of Mount Pleasant Michigan/ Attendees of Central Michigan University are blessed to have a variety of talents and here are a few of them.
1. Everyone in this town can make a right turn at an exceptionally slow rate.
2. Everyone can unknowingly drive 10 miles UNDER the speed limit and think this is acceptable.
3. If you are the age of 18-23 but you ask like a 6 year old, most likely you will reside in the music building. No Joke.
4. Some "special" citizens come with the rare talent of rolling in their filth from 6-10 days, wearing a shirt that is 6 sizes to0 small, have no idea of how to construct a grammatically correct sentence and then feel it is necessary to come to the local Meijer and piss off everyone around them.
5. and my personal favorite, This town is packaged with a strict "no left turn" policy, and to ensure this rule, they put up a fucking median for cars to slam into repeatedly. Seriously, if you have ever been to appian way, you know what I am talking about.
6. If you decided to go to CMU, for some bullshit major like, I don't know, umm, "leadership" or "Sports marketing", rest assure, you can drink 5 nights out of 7, you can live in Deerfield, and you can still graduate with honors. Good for you.
and finally, for my personal favorite, if you are ever so drunk that you can't stand and the next day you can barely move without wanting to vomit, you can always go to the local Biolife and donate your plasma. Not only does it make you feel better but they will also pay your drunk ass for it. God Bless America. Love this town.
Don't get me wrong, I have my flaws too.
Daily Flaws:
-In the last 3 weeks I have left my lights on 3 times resulting in a dead battery. FUUUUUCCKKKK!!!!!!!
-Last week I was at the gas station, and I forgot how to turn my car off. Who does that?
- That same day, I was at the post office and I forgot my pin number to a debit card I have had for 4 years.
-And finally, last night I let my boyfriend attempt to put in my ass. I couldn't stop laughing. Drink that up.
-good first day. That is all.
I'm already over it.
Anywho, for those of you who don't know me (not like there is anyone reading this), I'm am Jessica I am 21 and I have a lot to say.
Apparently it's not a good idea on a social level to call out people you don't like and/or completely annoy the piss out of you, so I'll do it here. Don't get me wrong, there will be several topics, but annoying people will probably be the funniest. I do have friends who are great and love me for who I am (shout out to Ross, Mandy, Garrett, Becky, Rachel, Madeline, etc. etc.) But there are just too many dumb people out there, and most of them reside in the state of Michigan with a fixed concentration in Mount Pleasant.
The Citizens of Mount Pleasant Michigan/ Attendees of Central Michigan University are blessed to have a variety of talents and here are a few of them.
1. Everyone in this town can make a right turn at an exceptionally slow rate.
2. Everyone can unknowingly drive 10 miles UNDER the speed limit and think this is acceptable.
3. If you are the age of 18-23 but you ask like a 6 year old, most likely you will reside in the music building. No Joke.
4. Some "special" citizens come with the rare talent of rolling in their filth from 6-10 days, wearing a shirt that is 6 sizes to0 small, have no idea of how to construct a grammatically correct sentence and then feel it is necessary to come to the local Meijer and piss off everyone around them.
5. and my personal favorite, This town is packaged with a strict "no left turn" policy, and to ensure this rule, they put up a fucking median for cars to slam into repeatedly. Seriously, if you have ever been to appian way, you know what I am talking about.
6. If you decided to go to CMU, for some bullshit major like, I don't know, umm, "leadership" or "Sports marketing", rest assure, you can drink 5 nights out of 7, you can live in Deerfield, and you can still graduate with honors. Good for you.
and finally, for my personal favorite, if you are ever so drunk that you can't stand and the next day you can barely move without wanting to vomit, you can always go to the local Biolife and donate your plasma. Not only does it make you feel better but they will also pay your drunk ass for it. God Bless America. Love this town.
Don't get me wrong, I have my flaws too.
Daily Flaws:
-In the last 3 weeks I have left my lights on 3 times resulting in a dead battery. FUUUUUCCKKKK!!!!!!!
-Last week I was at the gas station, and I forgot how to turn my car off. Who does that?
- That same day, I was at the post office and I forgot my pin number to a debit card I have had for 4 years.
-And finally, last night I let my boyfriend attempt to put in my ass. I couldn't stop laughing. Drink that up.
-good first day. That is all.
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