Why aren't there any eggrolls at this recital?

I'd like to start this post with a question


Have you ever farted on stage?

I did the other day and it got me wondering, How many people toot and have it go unnoticed? We need to shed some light on these toots. I routinely fart 2-3 times per concert. Now, lets say this is the average;

2 farts X 60 people

That's a lot of methane and burritos if you know what I am saying. Next time you're at a concert, think about it, it might get you through a boring piece.

Other than trombone, I have recently discovered that I am obsessed with dips, especially dips that are revolved around cheese.

I went on a 20 minute rant about cream cheese and pretzel chips, I had no idea I was so dedicated. In fact I shocked myself on how dedicated I am with food. It's a full blown obsession for real. SO from now on I will record for you all ( all 2 of you ) what my food obsessions are at the moment.


Oranges- weird yes I know. I was at one night and I was just craving oranges and I've been eating them ever sense. No kidding I go through 4 oranges a day, I can't get enough. ITS CRAZY.

Mayonaise mixed with Pesto- again, no idea how this originated but man, tasty as hell, It goes on everything. I spread it (thickly) and then if there is any extra, I actually drunk the sandwich in the mayonaise. Apparently I have a death wish.

Apples and Pear- again, for some reason I've been on a fruit kick seriously can't get enough.

PRETZEL CHIPSSSSSS- god had to of created them, there is no other explanation. period.

This is seriously all I have been eating for weeks, it's crazy.




Band sucks.. what else is new. I sat through 40 minutes of rehearsal today without playing a single note. I feel really good about that 250 dollar investment.





This Weeks Flaws;

1. I seriously considered using the broken elevator to avoid climbing up the stairs.
2. I continue to go to band
3. I tried to cook frozen chicken wings in the microwave and gave myself the worst stomach ache.
4. I went into my lesson expecting something decent. epic fail.



Thanks is all