Day One. You are all screwed.

So this is day one of my blog and I'm pretty sure in the course of my "blogging", I'll piss off about 80% of the people I come in contact with on a daily basis.



I'm already over it.


Anywho, for those of you who don't know me (not like there is anyone reading this), I'm am Jessica I am 21 and I have a lot to say.

Apparently it's not a good idea on a social level to call out people you don't like and/or completely annoy the piss out of you, so I'll do it here. Don't get me wrong, there will be several topics, but annoying people will probably be the funniest. I do have friends who are great and love me for who I am (shout out to Ross, Mandy, Garrett, Becky, Rachel, Madeline, etc. etc.) But there are just too many dumb people out there, and most of them reside in the state of Michigan with a fixed concentration in Mount Pleasant.

The Citizens of Mount Pleasant Michigan/ Attendees of Central Michigan University are blessed to have a variety of talents and here are a few of them.

1. Everyone in this town can make a right turn at an exceptionally slow rate.
2. Everyone can unknowingly drive 10 miles UNDER the speed limit and think this is acceptable.
3. If you are the age of 18-23 but you ask like a 6 year old, most likely you will reside in the music building. No Joke.
4. Some "special" citizens come with the rare talent of rolling in their filth from 6-10 days, wearing a shirt that is 6 sizes to0 small, have no idea of how to construct a grammatically correct sentence and then feel it is necessary to come to the local Meijer and piss off everyone around them.
5. and my personal favorite, This town is packaged with a strict "no left turn" policy, and to ensure this rule, they put up a fucking median for cars to slam into repeatedly. Seriously, if you have ever been to appian way, you know what I am talking about.
6. If you decided to go to CMU, for some bullshit major like, I don't know, umm, "leadership" or "Sports marketing", rest assure, you can drink 5 nights out of 7, you can live in Deerfield, and you can still graduate with honors. Good for you.

and finally, for my personal favorite, if you are ever so drunk that you can't stand and the next day you can barely move without wanting to vomit, you can always go to the local Biolife and donate your plasma. Not only does it make you feel better but they will also pay your drunk ass for it. God Bless America. Love this town.

Don't get me wrong, I have my flaws too.

Daily Flaws:

-In the last 3 weeks I have left my lights on 3 times resulting in a dead battery. FUUUUUCCKKKK!!!!!!!
-Last week I was at the gas station, and I forgot how to turn my car off. Who does that?
- That same day, I was at the post office and I forgot my pin number to a debit card I have had for 4 years.
-And finally, last night I let my boyfriend attempt to put in my ass. I couldn't stop laughing. Drink that up.





-good first day. That is all.